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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Battle...with my stomach

Today has been ugh not so bad not so good just one of those days.
Sundays are always hard. Don't get me wrong I love my family with
All my heart and do not know where I would be without them,but every
Sunday my grandmother makes a traditional Sunday dinner (yum) that's what
Any healthy non disordered person would say. As everyone knows I am in
"recovery" where it's kind of that unfortunate stage that you are way to
Aware of your obsessions but still not quite sure how to stop them and all
Therapist will tell you "use your tools" but getting those tools
Into action are a little harder than you would think. So every Sunday I am
Faced with this massive meal knowing I cannot act on ED bc everyone is
Watching for it. So I know that I cannot eat bc my Ed defo still has rules
Of what I can and cannot eat so a salad it is with plenty of protein and greens.
But as always Ed convinces me that I have ate all the o so yummy food and possess
Me to do crazy workouts every Sunday, bit this Sunday is dif I did not get that chance
I had to do school work and was never left alone and i had to eat dinner on top of that
Which is making me in quit the horrible mood. Needless to say I am sick and tied of this
Nasty disorder and this constant battle I feel i have with my body everyday. Ugh done
With rant :(

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